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Psychiatric Times
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The sharp steel wall of the concert hall encloses the melody and wounds the summer sky, a soft yellow glow gathering before moonrise...
-Sibelius, Violin Concerto
The sharp steel wall of the concert hall
encloses the melody and wounds
the summer sky, a soft yellow glow
gathering before moonrise, the Man’s
face growing round and bright
as a French horn, but contorted
into Munch’s portrait of a scream.
The soloist understands the anguish,
understands a moonstruck Sibelius
destroyed his stack of unfinished scores
and drank mood swings and suicidal
thoughts to sleep. But tonight, spread out
on the Tanglewood lawn, we don’t want
despair. Our candles flicker as if we are
in a cathedral, and we nuzzle under blankets
and drink champagne until our teeth are numb,
Sibelius’ torment softened by children’s voices
carried on warm wind, by airplanes high
overhead blinking in competition with stars,
my best friend tuned into the music, maybe
a month to live, his body as thin as summer
is ripe and sweet, a full glass in his hand,
moonlight dissolving the lines in his face,
the tortured run of notes at the climax
stealing our breath like an assassin’s wire.