Love Letter

-after reading about a health insurance company CEO’s $19,000,000 paycheck

Dear Charles,

Oh dearest Charlie, my Captain of Industry,

Paragon of Capitalism, I love you

for teaching me how our blue planet spins!

Like a cloistered virgin, my long education

and years of training shielded me from the world

of wealth you live in. But through your delicious

audacity, I finally feel the enchanting marriage

of medicine, money, power, and lust!

How much currency I’ve contributed

to your treasure is something I cannot know,

for you never send me a thank-you note.

Yes, distance and difficulties inflame the ardor

of Romantic Love, and you Dearest Charles

have succeeded in inflaming me!

To think you have converted suffering

and ten thousand doctors’ sweat

into your own nineteen million

makes me swoon! But as much as I love you

Charles, my best friend is my dog

who is named-Sweet Irony!-Charlie, too,

Like you, he is hairy, white, powerful

and smart, and he never listens

to a word I say! Once, I left him alone

for the briefest second, and in that moment

he ate an entire birthday cake! My birthday cake,

which I so foolishly left on the coffee table.

How he wagged his tail when I found him

with chocolate icing smeared on his snout.

And just like you Charles, he was generous

and kind enough to leave a few sweet crumbs

scattered on the tiled floor for me!