Gratefully Connecting to Our Past Relationships

SewcreamStudio/AdobeStock

PSYCHIATRIC VIEWS ON THE DAILY NEWS

Last month, as I wrote about in an anticipatory column, I attended my 60th high school reunion. Like all the prior ones that I attended, I felt that they were invaluable for rekindling prior relationships and seeing what happened to classmates. What a real life gift of longitudinal understanding and appreciation of people’s journeys can be received.

Right before this Von Steuben high school reunion, I ran across an address by “Mister Rogers” of children’s TV fame. He said:

“I still regret I didn’t thank some people who made a difference in my life when they were still around. I tried to make up for it later, when I was in my 40s. I’d track them down and offer words of gratitude. It’s one of the most important things I did at the midpoint in my life’s journey. But by then many of them had already left us. Yet even posthumous tribute is valuable, adding to the karmic betterment of the universe, and inspiring others in turn.”

Rogers recommended paying tribute to such individuals anytime you can. I did so live at this high school reunion. Karma seemed to provide a return to me when someone spontaneously reminded me of what a great athlete I was in high school. That attribute was something most people I met after high school—and paradoxically after a compound broken leg skiing for the first time—did not know, but was crucial for my long-term identity.

Then more recently, on August 18, I read another way to connect and thank old relationships in a column by Janet Torge titled “I Wonder What Happened to...?”¹ She used various methods to try to track someone down, usually starting with an email. One successful tracking led to 4 individuals but needing a 12-hour drive there and 12-hour drive back. Although common experiences were discussed, it was the collective current challenges that provided the most profound discussions.

Certainly, gratitude, especially to mothers, has been a common theme in the current Democratic National Convention. So, in any way practically possible, I would prescribe using whatever practical possibilities to reconnect and express mutual gratitude. Do so even if that past relationship had its problems. Usually, many years later all is better understood and forgiven. Gratitude is one of our social psychoexemplaries.

Given all that, let me close with thanking anyone who has supported these columns and, most especially, provided feedback, positive or negative.

Dr Moffic is an award-winning psychiatrist who specialized in the cultural and ethical aspects of psychiatry and is now in retirement and retirement as a private pro bono community psychiatrist. A prolific writer and speaker, he has done a weekday column titled “Psychiatric Views on the Daily News” and a weekly video, “Psychiatry & Society,” since the COVID-19 pandemic emerged. He was chosen to receive the 2024 Abraham Halpern Humanitarian Award from the American Association for Social Psychiatry. Previously, he received the Administrative Award in 2016 from the American Psychiatric Association, the one-time designation of being a Hero of Public Psychiatry from the Speaker of the Assembly of the APA in 2002, and the Exemplary Psychiatrist Award from the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill in 1991. He is an advocate and activist for mental health issues related to climate instability, physician burnout, and xenophobia. He is now editing the final book in a 4-volume series on religions and psychiatry for Springer: Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, Christianity, and now The Eastern Religions, and Spirituality. He serves on the Editorial Board of Psychiatric Times.

Reference

1. Torge J. I wonder what happened to...? A Considerable Age. August 18, 2024. Accessed August 22, 2024. https://aconsiderableage.substack.com/p/i-wonder-what-happened-to